I love learning about people’s life stories. I really do. It’s probably the main reason why I love reading biographies so much.

I think there’s something about learning a person’s life story that adds a whole new aura and dimension to that person that you can’t really get in any other way, shape or form. It makes you really appreciate and understand where they’re coming from, what their viewpoints on life are and how they’ve been gradually shaped to become that way, and why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.

It’s really amazing when it happens and if you’ve ever had the opportunity to have that kind of conversation, where everything starts to come out, the things you find out about the other person are guaranteed to make your jaw drop and leave you speechless.

I believe deep down inside each and every last one of us is a desire to tell our own life story to someone. We want to let it all out and we all want to be understood. This desire can be so strong that some people will even tell their life stories to total strangers upon the first meeting.

I know this because in my early years at college, I thought I had some sort of magical ability of eliciting life stories from people who were total strangers. Classmates, bus drivers, co-workers from different floors from where I worked spilled their entire life stories to me upon the first meeting. I used to think I had some really incredible listening skills or that I made people feel extremely at ease, but looking back at it all, I think it was just because I was genuinely interested in learning about their life stories. I really did have that desire and I believe they simply sensed that and reacted accordingly.

You’ll find that most people will be more than willing to tell you their life story if you only express the slightest bit of interest. However, some will be reserved and need a little bit more coaxing or will need more rapport before they come out of their shell. Yet, some will be like Fort Knox and only reveal themselves to a select few.

When you start to listen to various life stories, you’ll realize some common themes begin to pop up among them.

First off, that everybody has had problems. Most, if not all have had problems during their childhood that have greatly influenced where they are in life now and you’ll find that some of the things they’ve gone through and have overcome are truly amazing and inspirational. You’ll also find that everybody has current problems as well, even the people who seem to have it all together.

Second, you will begin to see elements and reflections of your own self somewhere in their life story. The things you’ve thought about, they’ve thought about. The things you’ve worried about, they’ve worried about. The experiences you’ve had, they’ve had in one form or another as well. It gets to the point where you begin to feel relieved and get a sense of confirmation that there’s nothing really wrong with you, that you were never as “alone” as you thought you were.

Third, that you never really knew the person as well as you thought you did. It’s funny because we all think we know the people in our lives pretty well - our friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, but the fact of the matter is, we really don’t know them all too well. We really don’t, even if we think we do and we begin to realize that fact when we hear their life stories for the very first time.

In a day and age where people have multiple “pseudo” friendships built on shallow, everyday conversation or through online means, it’s rare to have that “meat”. To have that heart to heart discussion and it’s what people really crave, even if they don’t come right out and say it.

There’s always something to learn from other people and listening to their life story is one way of learning a whole lot about life itself.

Learning about a person’s life story provides rich, dense, nutritious food for friendship.

At the very least, your relationship with the person who’s telling you their life story will be strengthened and taken to the next level because you are now, symbolically, a part of them. They’ve told their story to you and in doing so, formed that deeper bond and connection that you both know has been forged

I highly recommend taking a look at your social circle and inviting a person you want to learn more about to dinner at a restaurant or to your place and just express your genuine desire to learn about their life story. I guarantee you that they’ll be pleasantly surprised at the opportunity and take advantage of it. Your relationship with them will be taken to the next level and it’s at that next level where it really begins to affect both of your lives for the better.

Most people don’t really have anyone to confide in besides their spouses on the “heavier” things in life and to have someone to be able to talk to about those kinds of things is priceless.

Be that person. Learn about their life story and take the friendship to the next level. It's something that will prove to be invaluable to the both of you.