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How to Stick to Your Guns

By: Brian Kim - March 15, 2009

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Standing up for what you believe in, not being swayed by external factors, doing what you want to do – in essence sticking to your “guns” whatever your “guns” may be, it’s not an easy thing to do - especially if what you’re doing goes against the status quo.

Maybe you don’t want the suburban house with the white picket fence, minivan in the garage, 2.5 kids American dream but want to travel the world instead.

Maybe you don’t want to pursue the religion you were raised in and want to join one that you think is more in line with your beliefs. .

Maybe you want to ditch the corporate life and become an entrepreneur.

In any event, in order to break free from the status quo, you’ve got to stick to your guns because you WILL get pressure to come back into the “fold” from other people.

It’s an ABSOLUTE guarantee.

So how do you stick to your guns when everyone else will try to pull you apart from them?

The VERY first thing to do is compile reasons, reasons, reasons for why you want to do what you want to do.

And then more reasons after that.

If you’re going to stick to your guns, you should do a whole lot of research and some deep thinking and analysis as to why you want to pursue the path you want to pursue.

Be completely honest.

Let it all out.

The more, the better.

Without those reasons, it’s very easy to just give up. The more reasons you have the more “stickiness” you will have to your path.

Write those reasons down and back them up with as much logic and examples as you can so you have a defense ready in case others try to dissuade you from your path.

The second thing to do is surround yourself with people who will support you on your new path and limit the contact you have with people who won’t.

Your reference group is the most important thing to sticking to your guns.

It’s so hard to do it by yourself. It’s damn near impossible. It’s way too easy to second guess yourself all the time if you’re going at it alone, but when you surround yourself with people who encourage you, believe in you, and want to see you succeed in your new path, it makes sticking to your guns that much easier.

Your reference group can also provide you with even more reasons as to why you should stick to your guns so make it a point to find and associate with those who share the same viewpoints as you.

The third part is crucial and it’s simply to get to work on pursuing your new path.

The more you stay in the “mental” portion of sticking to your guns, the more time will start working against you. Time and pressure from other people will eventually wear you down and you won’t feel it’s as important to stick to your guns.

When you start getting to work on pursuing your new path, either one of two things is going to happen.

Either you’re going to find even more reasons and people that will help you stick to your guns OR you’re going to find it’s not the right path for you.

And if it’s the case of the latter, where you find it’s not the right path for you, that’s ok.

Don’t let pride get in the way. Accept the fact that it’s not the path for you and move on. Take it as a learning experience to help you find the path that you DO want and operate from there.

If it’s the case of the former where you find even more reasons and people that will help you stick to your guns, in essence, helping you to “solidify” your case, GREAT! It will be that much easier to stick to your guns now.

If you’re stagnant and don’t really take any action to pursue this new path of yours, more often than not, your resolve will wear thin and it will just prove to be another “phase” for you in your life.

But if you are fortunate enough to find something that you believe and delve deep enough into this new path to the point where you do believe you’ve found the path that’s right, you’ll know because the sign will be that it’s become easier and easier for you to stick to your guns and you’ll begin to see the light.

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3 Responses to “How to Stick to Your Guns”

  1. Jens Upton Says:

    hiya

    i like this article! These are practical ways to stick to your guns. I like the ‘honesty’ and ’surrounding yourself with like minded people’. I also found the more reasons i wrote to describe what i want the more my i could feel what was appropriate. Then it was for me to decide what i could realistically achieve.
    Ive changed paths a number of times and been fortunate to have the choices to do that.

    Thanks
    Jens

  2. kaasis Says:

    It is impossible to achieve something when you are living in environment where people are not in agreement with your goals. That is true. However I think it is beneficial to listen to opposing party to discover possible flaws in your plans and improve the quality of the path you have chosen. It is not comfortable but it is part of getting out of your comfort zone and it shapes you stronger. Thanks!

  3. Brian Kim Says:

    Hi Jens,

    I’m glad you liked the article! And thanks for sharing your experience too. I really appreciate it.

    Kaasis,

    You bring up a great point as well. It does make you stronger. Thanks for sharing!

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