I know the title of the article seems like a bit of a mouthful and common sense, but I want to delve into this topic nonetheless. I wanted to write this to help people apply in real life those simple things we all know we should do AND not do but for whatever reason, simply fail to follow through on.
There are universal truths we all can agree on – be kind and courteous to everyone you meet, save money, be punctual, etc., and things we know we shouldn’t do like lie, cheat, and steal.
But here’s the thing.
In our minds, we can’t fully process what we can miss out on by not applying what we know we should do AND not do because there are SO many possibilities that can come out from taking those actions, however small they may be.
We aren’t even aware of it. Our vision is VERY limited in this regard.
Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.
We all know we should be punctual for our appointments but not everyone is.
I remember reading about this story of a salesman who had an appointment with a client.
He came in early and the secretary escorted him to the client’s office so he could wait for him as he would be coming in shortly. He sat in a chair, relaxed and looked around and noticed a lot of pictures of his client playing tennis.
The client comes in, sees the man waiting, feels a bit sheepish for making him wait and right from the get go, the salesman has got that something going for him.
They do some small talk and the salesman brings up the subject of tennis and how he plays too. Then they get to talking about their favorite players, who will win Wimbledon this year, how long they’ve each been playing, etc.
At the end of the meeting, they even set a date to play each other.
And of course, the salesman got the sale.
Had the opposite occurred, had the salesman come in late, he would’ve been flustered, apologetic for being late, brain scrambling, not have noticed the tennis pictures, missed out on that hook, and potentially on the sale as well.
Now that salesman will probably never have conceived that him coming early would’ve led to him seeing the pictures and finding that common ground they could bond over.
He couldn’t have seen that link coming a million miles away.
But he didn’t have to.
All he knew was that he should always be punctual for his appointments and if that means coming in a bit early to be sure, so be it.
That’s all he knew.
He did not know the benefits that would have come as a result and that’s the point I’m trying to make.
When we do things we know we should do – something great will always come out of it, even if we don’t realize it at first.
And we don’t have to know what that is or spend time trying to figure it out. It’s useless. There are a million possibilities.
But that’s the beauty and fun of it.
It’s always a nice surprise to discover what those benefits will be.
Now take the flip side to see what happens if you do what you know you shouldn’t do – like spreading gossip or sharing a secret you promised you wouldn’t to a friend.
It might seem like harmless fun at first, but I think we all know that something like that can get out of hand quick.
REAL quick.
I’m sure we have heard the stories from our own social groups or those of others where one small piece of gossip or one shared secret just lit the proverbial gas station on fire.
It’s never a pretty sight.
A lot of damaging domino effects – strained relationships, mistrust, broken social circles – the human tongue can do a lot of damage without even knowing it.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s not easy to fully appreciate the full weight of possibilities that can occur when we DO apply what we know we should do AND shouldn’t do.
The benefits are enormous when we do the things we know we should do.
And the flip side is true. The damaging effects are enormous as well for doing the things we know we shouldn’t do.
And I think the problem here in both cases is that most people think in terms of A -> B.
If I come on time, then I won’t look bad.
Or
If I tell somebody else this secret that I promised I wouldn’t, it won’t be so bad because it’s not really that big of a deal.
That’s the end of it.
A -> B.
One action leads to one effect.
But in reality, when you take action A, it leads to effect B, or C, or D, or B, C AND D, and that leads to effect E, or F, or G, and each of those possibilities splinter into H, I, or J, and then J and B interact with one another to form possibility X, which leads to outcome Q, etc.
There’s a lot that can happen from taking action A - things that we can’t even begin to fathom. It forms an intricate web of possibilities and outcomes that we are never fully aware of.
But all you have to know is this.
If you do the things you know you should do, all the time, even on the smallest scale, you know you will experience great benefits.
What they are – you won’t know until you do.
But when you do, you’ll be glad you did.
I’m sure we all know that one person in our group who is pretty much a boy/girl scout – they do the things we all know we should do and they seem to get every lucky break in the world.
But they’re not lucky.
They don’t lose out on all the benefits they receive from doing what they know they should do simply because they do what they know they should do.
And the flip side is true – by NOT doing what you know you shouldn’t do, you avoid all the collateral damage that action brings with it.
We tend to underestimate that collateral damage or isolate it as one type of event, but in reality, in runs much deeper than that and the damage can be more complex and everlasting than we can ever imagine.
So strive to avoid the human tendency to rationalize both cases of not doing what you know you should do and doing what you know you shouldn’t do.
It may seem harmless to you and the effects limited to one event, but in reality, you lose out on a lot of benefits and you experience a lot of collateral damage as well by doing so.
No matter how small the scale – do what you know you should do and don’t do what you know you shouldn’t do.
If you do that – you will experience benefit after benefit after benefit by taking every action you know you should take and avoid collateral damage after collateral damage after collateral damage for every action you don’t take that you know you shouldn’t take.
Remember, it’s not A -> B.
It’s A -> a million things.
What those will be, you’ll never know.
All you’ll know is those million things can either be things that will greatly benefit you or hurt you even more.
October 9th, 2009 at
wow i’ll make sure i do what i should do from now on. thanks
November 20th, 2009 at
You’re very welcome!