There’s a tongue twister for you.

When most people hear this statement for the first time, a light bulb goes off in their head.

They see the division between the two trains of thought and more often than not, realize that they fall in camp of playing not to lose as it's usually the default camp.

What's the difference between the two trains of thought?

It’s pretty obvious at first glance but rather than articulate it in words, here's a visual.

Imagine two people fencing.

One guy attacks, the other defends

And defends.

And defends.

And defends.

Over time what happens?

The guy defending NEVER attacks. He gets into the habit of REACTING to the other guy. He’s just trying to stay alive. And he’s forced to play this game forever because he can't dictate the game. It never ends. He gets tired. Always full of fear and doubt that his life will soon end. And he will soon make mistakes and ultimately lose.

The person attacking on the other hand gains confidence. He dictates the game. Life must react to him. He’s trying to FINISH the game so he doesn’t have to play. He wants to END it. And he gets closer and closer in doing so. And he wins. And he LIVES.

Those who play to win IMPOSE THEIR WILL ON LIFE and have the desire to WIN and LIVE. Those who play not to lose always REACT TO LIFE and live in fear and doubt, just trying to survive.

Let me tell you another story to illustrate the difference between two.

UCLA football, when it came to offense, always tended to play it safe. They played not to lose.

On fourth down, the offense would rather kick a field goal than go for the touchdown or the first down, even if they were in reasonable distance of either option.

As a result, they lost a lot of games because the other team wanted TOUCHDOWNS, not field goals.

They wanted 7 points, not 3.

And they usually got it by going for it on 4th down whether it be for a touchdown or a first down on the way to a touchdown.

When you’re only putting 3 points on the board at a time and the other team is putting on 7, the gap just gets bigger and bigger.

But one time late in this season, UCLA had the ball near the goal line. It was 4th down.

Would they go for it? Or would they play it safe and kick the field goal?

In other words, would they play to WIN?

Or would they play it safe, play not to lose, by kicking the field goal and at least get 3 points on the board?

Well, on that down, they went for it.

And they scored the touchdown.

The offensive coach put faith in his team and called a great play and they executed it.

A regular person watching that game wouldn’t know that was a turning point for the team.

But a fan of the team knew it was BIG. This was a tipping point. This proved to be that ONE thing that would spark something great.

And it did.

The UCLA team had SWAGGER now. They started stretching the field, throwing downfield, lobbing those deep passes in spite of the safeties. As a result, the playbook really opened up and they were able to do a lot more things offensively because they had that faith in themselves and they had that attitude of playing to WIN, not playing it safe by playing not to lose.

UCLA fans know what game I’m talking about and they have seen the difference that one play made in the games after it. (it happened this season by the way). When it comes down to it, the difference is really attitude.

Are you going to let life push you around and dictate the rules?

Are you always going to be playing defense? Playing it safe? Always REACTING to life? Or are you going to make life REACT TO YOU?

Are you going to PLAY TO WIN?

Look in your life to see where you might be playing not to lose. Look at your relationships. Are you doing just enough to maintain it? Are you doing just enough not to lose it?

Ore are you going to go on the offensive and strengthen it? Maybe plan a perfect small getaway with just you and your partner and reconnect like you did when you first started going out?

Are you doing just enough not to get fired at your job? Or are you going on offense taking initiative on new projects?

In other words, are you kicking field goals?

Ore are you going for the touchdown?

That’s the difference between playing to WIN and playing not to lose.

The difference doesn’t seem to be that much between the two, at least in the beginning.

It’s 3-7 in numerical terms. 3 for the field goal, 7 for the touchdown.

But then 6-14.

And then 9-21.

And then 12-28.

And then 15-35.

And then 18–42.

The gap getting bigger and bigger between the two illustrating that over time, it pays to play to WIN.

Go for the touchdown.

Don’t settle for the field goal.

Play to WIN.

Don’t play not to lose.